How Amazing is Online Dating?
January 20, 2011 | 12 Comments
When I was teenager, every young, attractive female was a potential girlfriend. I never had to look for rings on fingers, or wonder about serious relationships. I especially didn’t have to concern myself with how many kids a young woman might have. Approaching the opposite sex was so much easier back then. Young girls were plentiful, and nobody ever seemed to mind getting hit on. Even if a girl did have a boyfriend, it was unlikely very serious, and you always had a bit of a shot. Now that I’m thirty, however, and back in the dating game, it’s certainly not that easy anymore. In fact, it seems quite an overwhelming and arduous quest to find attractive women my age who are still single. It’s especially difficult if you aren’t ready to be an instant father to somebody else’s kids, as wonderful and special as those kids might be. That’s why I absolutely love online dating. You get to bypass all the nonsense and get strait to the point. And when you’re as busy as I am, and getting on in years, its nice to know that you can still be a bit picky.
When you’re a focused and busy professional like myself, it’s a rarity to run into anybody in the workplace who really catches your attention. When someone does, however, it seems more than likely that this person will either be married, or in a serious relationship. And since I’m not too keen on stealing precious moments with somebody else’s wife (unless of course she was really hot and came on to me), the challenge of finding Mrs. Right, or even Mrs. Right Now, can be a frustrating and trying operation. Besides, workplace relationships, even if they are casual hook ups or one night drunken escapades, can open doors to all sorts of difficulties and frustrations. I’m sure everybody has heard the horror stories, if they haven’t yet experienced it themselves. Successful workplace romances are usually confined to daytime drama, though these romantic victories never seem to last too long. As for the rest of us, we will likely need to make an effort on our own time if we want to meet that special someone.
Bars and socials are great places to meet other singles if you’re still in your twenties, like to drink to access, and are primarily looking for a one-night stand. I myself have never actually dated any of the women I’ve taken home from the bar, unless a handful of late night booty calls count as dating. Nevertheless, I hear it does happen on occasion. And though I haven’t quite outgrown the bar scene, or the women it entails, I have to admit that it has lost some of its original lustre. More and more I find myself, to my own utter amazement, preferring to spend a Friday or Saturday night at home with a good movie, or even out with a married friend for coffee. Most surprisingly, I’m starting to wonder what it would be like to spend a nice evening going out for dinner and then to a play or an opera. My god, I am getting old. But it’s hard to meet single women when you’re out for dinner by yourself, and especially if you’re sitting in a play or at the opera. I guess some moments are best shared as two.
So now I’m at my computer, browsing through profiles of local women too pretty to ever work at my company. And I’m not just restricted to one darkened photograph, one carefully selected photo picked from a million. Many of these lovely ladies have posted numerous candid shots, not leaving me to wonder if the bottom end is as pretty as the top. In fact, some of the best dating sites today not only allow for unlimited picture uploads, they also allow unlimited video uploads as well. And with all kinds of questionnaires and descriptive profile information, I don’t have to leave anything to chance. The best part of online dating, however, is I can skip all the wondering (is she with someone, does she think I’m attractive, do we have anything in common, are there any kids, etc.) and find out everything I need in very little time. Personally, I like to make it even more straightforward than that. I prefer one date, not long after our first online encounter, and not more than a few hours long. Then we can each go home and decide if we want to continue with date number two. Very little time and emotion is invested, and the potential for hurt feelings are minimized. If things don’t work out, you move on to the next. The beautiful thing about online dating is that there are always lots more eligible candidates to move on to.
Online chat and dating have completely revolutionized the dating world, opening up more possibilities than our parents could ever have imagined. Our generation, and the ones to come, can be fussier, more selective, and less inclined to settle, than any other generation before us. We can ask all the right questions even before our first encounter, and we can quickly move on to the next eligible encounter when it becomes apparent that it wasn’t meant to be. We don’t have to invest months of unnecessary time pining over someone who will never give us the time of day, and we don’t have to wait months and months to find out that our goals and expectations are simply incompatible. Online chat and dating can enable us to meet other unique and interesting people from all over the world. I know I wouldn’t mind relocating somewhere warmer, especially if I already had a few promising dates set up. I just don’t see any good reason why any single adult shouldn’t give online dating a try. It might just be the best thing you’ve ever done.
Jack Strawman
divorced with kids dating single people with no kids…any hints?
February 12, 2010 | 6 Comments
i am a single father with 3 kids (10,8,6). I have them every other week. I am starting after a year since my divorce to date. I felt it was important for the kids and I to have some healing and rebuilding time. Now that I am open to dating I am being approached by single gals with no kids. I have heard a lot of horror stories of single parents dating single people. I want to do this right. I know that I do want to be in a committed relationship. My kids are well behaved, respectful, good grade getting, sunday school attending kids who answer yes ma’am and yes sir. They want me to "have someone to go to movies with". They know I want that. Does any one have any wisdom to share for this situation. What to avoid, what to absolutley do, what to prepare for….etc. Has anyone done it and failed or done it and succeeded and want to share how/why? I’d love some ideas and guidance from the experienced.
Been there done that. And quite honestly….Your facing relationships that will be a challenge. I am not saying it can’t be done I am just saying it will be a bit more challenging.
There are people out there unable to have children who truly want them. And there are the ones who don’t have them that think they want them. Only to find out they can’t cope with it all.
Keeping your relationship totally honest and always including your children in your decisions is the best policy.
I have dated a few men with no children. Two didn’t work out at all because of controling issues, insecurties, and simply because they couldn’t understand something they never had to deal with before.
Then I dated a man who had no children when I had 2. I always made it quite clear to him my children are one of the most important things in my life and they came first in most situations. That his opinions were always considered and appreciated but the final decisions were mine and thier Fathers.
There are many obstacles in this type of relationship.
Don’t allow your partner to play the guilt trip game. And always watch them around your kids.
Don’t allow the children to control the relationship. Because they will try, trust me.
It is hard to balance at times.But it can be done.
Being a parent is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do let alone trying to sustain a healthy realtionship with another adult.
By the way, the man I dated with no kids…
We have 4 of our own now. 
Single parent and dating at 28?
November 24, 2009 | 5 Comments
Im recently single and almost 28 years old. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. Im enjoying being single but think about someday meeting someone special, just not right now. The thing is Im afraid that when Im ready Ill have no way to meet someone. Is the only way left internet? I keep thinking that Ill be alone for the rest of my life.
Congrats on your new-found single life!!! First, don’t put too much pressure on yourself on how’s why’s and such other bs of dating game. It’s really a natural type of game and there are really no hard rules on what you should or shouldn’t do. Second, don’t worry about not meeting anyone anymore. I worried about the same thing too but soon I realized that I was just not ready (and still not ready) for a serious relationship, and dating became more enjoyable. Also, contrary to horror stories, Internet is not a bad thing to meet people. Pretty much everyone with Facebook now has a profile on matching / dating sites, and many people meet/ marry through internet services. However, one thing I want to mention. Never ever tell your perspective date (or put it on your online profile) that you are single mother. There guys who just "hunt" for such mothers in order to get access to children. If a guy likes you on your first or second date, he’d like you even if you have a kid, and he’d understand if you kept this tidbit from him for safety reasons. And anyway you’d never want a guy who’s not into kids or won’t want understand the reasons for your precautions.
Also, try dating casually. If you’re not into this thing, than wait till you’re ready for serious dating. I invited a lot of suffering on myself just because I tried to date seriously when in fact I was not ready for it.
The Risks of Online Dating
October 31, 2009 | 14 Comments
Online dating is big business . There is a few reasons why people find this way of meeting new people so interesting. Almost everyone is doing it! among the many online dating services, a lot of them are free.
The growing popularity of online dating has revolutionized the way couples meet. These days, it is not unusual for a single person to become a member in an online dating service. In fact, it is fast becoming the rule. In 2004, it was estimated that residents in the U.S. spent millions on online dating services.
The combination of curiosity and the hope to meet exciting new people is what attracts individuals to be a part of an online dating service group. But this new activity doesn’t come without risks
Of course it doesn’t happen all the time, but now and then we hear horror stories about online dating services. Some of them are scary enough to keep singles away from online dating services for good.
One of the problems of this industry is that its members often lie about themselves in their profil. Not everyone tells the truth. People have been known to mislead others about everything, including the fact that they’re married. Some married individuals try to pass themselves off as single, others lie about their appearance, age, economic status, and even gender.
For an inexperienced online dater, danger lurks at every corner. But there are some safety tips prospective members can learn to help guide them through a safe online dating experience.
Online dating services that offer subscriptions are safer than those that can be accessed for free.Paid membership sites offer a set of requirements and rules that prospective members have to meet.
Some sites are very exclusive.Anyone who wants to join has to go through an intensive screening process. Background checks are done on future members to make sure their information is true.
Here are some safety tips about online dating:
1. When dating online you should protect your identity. You should be extremely careful about divulging personal information that will make it possible for the people to locate you.
2. Pay attention to the consistency of the information your correspondents are giving you. This way, you may be able to catch them out in a lie.
3. Watch out for warning signs when talking to people, such as: the use of foul language, signs of anger for no apparent reason, elusiveness in answering direct questions, disrespectful remarks, etc. These signs spell trouble. The person with these types of behavior may not be trustworthy, you shouldn’t continue this dangerous relationship.
4. You should immediately stop communication with people who will insist on obtaining personal information about you.
5. After you agree to meet your date, meet in a public place that is well-lit, with plenty of other people around.
You should always practice common sense and be cautious whenever you meet someone new. Even though the courtship takes place online, once you have revealed personal information about yourself, you can’t take it back.
You should always use your instincts and logic when it comes to dealing with other people, especially when dating online. This is where some people fall prey to cheaters, deceivers, and even sexual offenders. Don’t against your better judgment. If something feels untrue, then this is probably a sign that something could go terribly wrong.
You are better to get out of this kind of situation. As the saying goes: “Better safe than sorry”. You should always remember that saying when online dating.
Gaetane Ross
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/the-risks-of-online-dating-88561.html
