Comments on: Check Out The Online Dating Services

By: DD

DD — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:52:22 +0000

I have been seriously dating a man since March but he checks his online dating service daily? Any thoughts?
We met online…not what you are thinking…actually, I saw a photo of a relative in a picture with him and we live in the same city. He checks out as a good guy, we spend weekends and many weekdays together AND we have met each others families. I suspended my account but I can see who has viewed me and when others are online and each time I check I see where he has been online…and this is why I am checking. I haven’t asked him about the site but I did ask if he were keeping his options open and he said "No". Is it just a guy thing or what and should I be doing the same? Background: I am divorced and in my early 40′s and he is in his mid 40′s and never married.
He HAS been talking marriage in that he says he has been picky to date but that I took him by surprise meeting all his expectations. He took me to meet his family and everything. He often asks me question like, "what kind of wedding do you want" and yet he checks his site everyday. I just re-activated my account and I will ask him point blank. A friend of mine even sent him a message (she didn’t have a photo) and asked him how he could still be single and he responded that he has met someone and the site was only to pass time. My question is why pass time on a site when you have me? Perhaps I am being too available…..thanks everyone who has responded so far…keep em’ coming!!!

By: TiffanyDanyelle

TiffanyDanyelle — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:04:59 +0000

I know that is a tough situation a friend of mine went through the same thing. Let me first start off by saying that often times women view dating in different ways. Dating for us means being serious, but for men that’s not always the case. They only feel that its necessary to cut all ties when they decide that they want to marry you.

You have to sit back and really evaluate his intentions with you. If he is still looking at online profiles that means that he is still keeping his options open regardless of what he says. Don’t wait around and be the good time women for a minute until he finds something else. The truth lies in a man’s actions not his words. As a result it’s important to keep your account open as well.

Sometimes as women we are quick to shut down our options when we really don’t know the guys final intentions with us. Now if he is talking about marriage and planning for the two of you he wouldn’t be doing anything to jeoporadize loosing you. (Checking online dating site is something that would warrant for a chance to loose you) However, he would only feel that chance of loosing you, if he felt like he hasn’t got you. "Got you" meaning that he is confident that you are not going anywhere and that’s a place you never want a man to be— especially while dating. So I would recommend sitting down by yourself and asking what do I want out of this? If you want marriage than its time to step back a little from him meaning switch up the dating pattern or cut phone conversations short and re-activate your account that will get his guards up and get him to take more interest. If you don’t want marriage be smart and don’t put all your eggs and one basket. Because if he is still dating and meeting and possibly sleeping with other women than you my friend are putting your lively hood in danger. Work it girl you deserve more and God Bless!
References :

By: SamuelSadness

SamuelSadness — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:02:59 +0000

He could be doing it as a way to build self-esteem. Thats what it sounds like to me. He probably just looks on there to see if any women have contacted him because it probably gives him a little shot of ego. But he could be actualy looking to keep himself open. Dont be afraid to open up and ask him about it. You two are 40 years old, you should know by now that relationships are built on communication, even if your not officially a couple.
References :

By: needs a vacation

needs a vacation — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:00:59 +0000

Okay you don’t want to jump the gun on this situation but you two need to talk. When we are in relationships we tend to assume a lot thinking that our partner knows our every thoughts or what we are feeling. Obviously him having this online account still open bothers you so you need to bring it up to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him where does he see this relationship going. He did tell you that he wasn’t keeping his options open so perhaps he isn’t even thinking that much into things as far as suspending his account like you did. It may be just a guy thing and he sees nothing wrong with keeping his account open but he will never know that it bothers you unless you talk to him about it.

Best Wishes!
References :
Life

By: craziibuti_ful

craziibuti_ful — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:58:59 +0000

His checking his online dating thing STILL= BAD SIGNS…and very clear…there is nothing to that than what can be obviously seen…you might not want to accept it because thats life…but it could not be clearer and you’ll admit it one day !!
References :

By: Brain Babe

Brain Babe — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:56:59 +0000

I would say that YOU are serious about him, but he is serious about keeping his options open. A man does NOT get to be in his mid-40′s and never married without having a plan in place to stay single and keep moving on.

I would lay my cards on the table with him, tell him I knew he was checking his dating club site out…and give him the option of closing it down and getting serious or moving on…you teach people how to treat you, and he is treating you NOT very well…

YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!
References :

By: mORbid FaSi Na TioN

mORbid FaSi Na TioN — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:54:59 +0000

It sounds to me like he is definitely keeping his options open.
References :